The three swords of building self-confidence to help you achieve the life you want

Since the establishment of the blog, I have spent a lot of time writing articles and running courses, and a large part of my effort is to let everyone know what “true self-confidence” is. This article is a summary of the essence, and I condense the main points of self-confidence. Three swords, dedicated to every friend who has been paying attention to Mr.P.

The First Sword: Sober Self-Awareness

Let’s start with the mistakes that ordinary people often make:

• Consider confidence as a value
• Thinking that too little self-confidence will make you feel inferior
• Thinking that too much self-confidence will make you arrogant

If you have a friend who knows this, I’m guessing that he is also in the cycle of arrogance and inferiority, because self-confidence is not such a concept.

A person has low self-esteem because he has a wrong “self-perception”. To use a simple metaphor, his English is obviously good enough to communicate with foreigners. People around him and professionals also think the same, but he feels I can’t do it myself, I don’t have the courage, I’m afraid to speak.

A person will be arrogant, but also because of the wrong “self-recognition”, his English is not good, but he is self-inflated, and he thinks he can do the job of instant translation, even if the professionals are not optimistic about him, he still lives in his own world ( Look around you, there must be many people who think starting a business is easy, and most of these people are arrogant).

And what is true self-confidence?

It is to have a clear understanding of yourself and the world.

A confident person knows his position, what he is good at, and what he can do. At the same time, this cognition is based on his past actual combat experience, so when he encounters a problem, he “knows” that he can solve it.

Arrogance and low self-esteem are completely different. Their self-identity comes from “fantasy”. People with low self-esteem imagine that they will fail, and arrogant people imagine that they will succeed. They are not living in reality, but living in fantasy.

(In the following, for the convenience of description, I will summarize the arrogant and inferior as fantasy)

If you still can’t tell the difference, here is a simple way to judge:

A confident person will not flinch when he meets someone stronger than him, nor will he show pride when he encounters someone weaker than himself, he will give equal respect.

Fantasy people will feel inferior when they meet people who are stronger than themselves, and they will be domineering when they meet people who are weaker than themselves. This is the interesting thing about fantasy people. They have arrogance and inferiority at the same time.

Second sword: define success by yourself

There is one more fundamental difference between confident people and fantasy people.

Confident people focus on “their own goals”; fantasy people focus on the opinions of others.

It’s like setting a blueprint for life. Confident people ask themselves, “What do I want, what do I like, what is right for me, and what is a happy life for me?”

The visionary seeks outside attention, focusing on, “How do I make myself look happy? What do I have to do to make others like me, adore me, appreciate me?”

Confident people will spend a lot of time understanding themselves, such as personality, values, lifestyle, money outlook, etc. They are the leaders of their own lives. Maybe some confident people will choose to live a minimalist life, and some will choose to live Luxurious life, but they must be full of joy in their hearts, full of happiness in every moment.

The life of a fantasist is much more difficult. Rather than achieving success as defined by himself, fantasists are more concerned about “whether I am successful in the eyes of others”, which is usually the starting point of all tragedies. The fantasist may live very hard and work very hard , Very diligent to earn wealth, but the goal is to satisfy others, often feel empty and depressed.

The most well-known story is “The King’s New Clothes,” and if being naked on the streets today can be worshipped, the fantasist will not hesitate to do so.

The Third Sword: Broad Minds

Now that you understand that self-confidence comes from “clear self-awareness + defining your own success”, you will naturally think: If I want to achieve that vision, how far do I have to go? what should I do?

The journey of life starts from this, and it is also my original intention to create a fan club and set up courses. I don’t want to help you become someone else, overtake others, and leave others behind. That means nothing to your life. No.

The goal I focus on is very simple, to help you become yourself, that’s all, it’s easy to say, but it’s not easy to do, but because of this, it has the value of realization.

You, only when you become “yourself” can your inner self-confidence grow. If self-confidence is a seed, the nourishment for the seed to grow into a big tree comes from your self-identification.

Self-identity is when you know what you’re doing means what you’re doing, you know it’s the right thing to do, and you know that continuing to do it will make your life happier.

So at this point, I will add one more condition to self-confidence: a broad mind.

You know that you are right, but you also accept that others are right. You have your own goals in life. You can appreciate other people’s lives without forcing others to accept your goals.

After you’ve collected all three swords, you’ll get an amazing bonus – your charisma will explode because:

• Sober cognition makes you “wisdom”
• Defining your own success gives you a “firm eye”
• A broad mind allows you to “accommodate others”

But please be careful, don’t take “attractiveness” as your goal. Charisma comes naturally. If you pay too much attention to it, you will easily get lost, making you go back and chase “whether I am attractive in the eyes of others”.

Confident Summary

Going back to what I said at the beginning, you should understand the difference between self-confidence and inferiority and arrogance. There is no relationship between them, but they are completely different in nature.

People with low self-esteem and arrogance:

• Embrace a false sense of self
• The arrogant feels that they are right and others are wrong
• Those with low self-esteem feel that they are wrong and others are right
• I don’t know my goals and want others’ approval
• I care more about happiness “in the eyes of others” than my own happiness

Confident people:

• Sober self-awareness
• Be able to objectively judge whether one is right or wrong
• Don’t change your attitude because of the difference in strength and weakness, and respect them all
• Be clear about your goals and have a firm direction in life
• Have a broad mind and appreciate the lives of others

The above is Mr.P’s summary of the word “self-confidence” over the years. I dare not say it is perfect, but this is what I have learned from the questions, actual cases, and teachings of thousands of listeners and hundreds of students. Without them, there would be no me, there would be no such content, so I would like to thank everyone for their trust and support over the years. I hope that with this energy, I can help you who read the article and everyone around you. a friend.

The three swords of self-confidence, each of which will have some trials, problems to face, and difficulties to overcome. After you get it, you will not be able to command the world. Be your own king/queen, lead your own heart, and live a life that truly makes you happy. That feeling is the kind of happiness that will wake you up from a dream.

bring it on! From now on, build your own three swords, and then live with confidence!